The What If Question

What if? What if it is only a question?
Nothing more, nothing less.

What if? Is that what is holding you back?
Let’s say you have a strong desire to do something or to act a certain way. You are kind of pulled by it. You feel from within it is something that has come your way, just for you. Then the fear and the doubt creep in. Yes, I like this and I want to, but what if? What if something even better will come along later? What if I can’t make it, what if it will not work out?
The ‘what if’ question is derived from our mind and it is all about fear. It is almost the same as the scenario that is at play when we are in need. When we have our need fulfilled, we then get worried that we will loose that which we have. The vicious circle of need.
Help! I am staring at joy. I am faced with love. I am on the road of abundance. I am looking at happiness. What if?

It is also the question that pops up when we are faced with a decision or a choice and we are uncertain, and we want to do the right thing. I feel like taking the left road, but what if the right on is better? We are afraid of making the wrong decision. We are afraid that if we take the one road and it turns out the “wrong” choice, that we have missed out on the chance of the other road. We evaluate our option in terms of opportunity costs with the cost being the “benefit” that we would have gotten from the road or roads not taken.

In other cases, we contemplate the question when we have something really good going on in our life and we are afraid of loosing it. It is that fear of loosing that which we love and behold so dearly. Other times we deliberate because we are uncertain and full of worry about our own capabilities. “This looks like a good opportunity, but what if I mess it up?” There is the fear of not being good enough, of feeling unworthy, or the fear of not knowing or not knowing enough. “I am afraid that I won’t know what to do. What if I will not know how to react, or how to behave? ”
Another one is “What if I am wrong?” There is so much fear of making a mistake. But every decision is the only one we can make at the moment we take it. This fear is based on us not allowing ourselves to make a decision based on what we know and who we are in the moment. It is steeped in judgment and value beliefs. We deny ourselves the freedom to choose in the moment and we do not allow ourselves to be who we are in the moment. In a way it is like saying that we don’t know enough or that we are not good enough.

In most circumstances, the question is placed in past or in the future, pulling you away from the present. ‘What if’ often deals with fears that are not about the now moment but are instead projected into next week, next month or next year. Even 10 or 15 years from now. When you think about fears, how many are connected to the present now? The moment that you are standing in front of an audience ready to give your first speech, there might be a real ‘in the moment’ fear. Mostly however, we fear that something will occur, while it has not happened yet. I am afraid I will loose my job. I am worried I won’t be able to finish my project in time. I am not sure I am going to be happy if….

The big ‘What if’question is only that, a question! It is looking at a potential that might or might not occur, and it is a potential that is considered “negative” to start with. It is a judgment that is not even placed at what is right here, right now, but at a possibility that could happen in the future and one that you know absolutely nothing about. It is a potential that instills the illusion of fear before it has happened and one that might never ever happen, and which is preventing you from embracing the wonderful thing that is right there in front of you.

What if? You can stop in your tracks or you can go forth. Once you realize that the question is not real but illusionary and you flow with what is happening in the moment, you will always be in the proverbial win-win situation.
What if the ‘what if’ would never be, and you wake up one day and realize it is …only a question. Would you not kick yourself for not having gone ahead?
What if the ‘what if’ would never be, and you wake up one day and realize it is …only a question. Would you not jump up in relief and joy for having gone ahead and savoring what is yours to have and yours to give… day after day?

Imagine you did learn that new skill or gave wings to your passion and started out on the venture you always longed for. You did not let yourself be held back by the “What if I am not smart enough or not gifted enough to do it?” and this opened up a path for joy and success. Oh, the thought might have entered your mind but it did not sway you. On the final day, will you not have that sense of exhilaration and relief that you did go ahead after all and that the ‛what if’ was and always has been just a simple question, no less and no more?

We so often fear something that is not real and never will be. We are so afraid to be afraid that we try to protect ourselves even in the imaginary, to be on the safe side. Consider how often in your life you have experienced a real fearful event, in the moment. Mostly you have been afraid of something that might happen – in the future – while it had not happened yet and in retrospect most of it did not occur.

Having said all of the above, the ‛what if’ question can be used constructively. In these cases it is not asked on the basis of fear but in a positive way to get more clarity about a situation or a choice. When you are considering different option, like could be the case when you are at a crossroad and you are drawn by alternative roads that equally speak to you, it can be used as a guiding tool. What if this choice brings me joy?